I really love this quote from Jim Courier. The idea that your child could walk off court and win or lose and they show their pride. It is very similar to the some of the lines from ‘If’ by Kipling:
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
I suspect that for many of us, we would love to see that in our children. The ability of remaining positive and proud even when faced with disappointment and personal agony. That would be a lesson that could be applied to all their lives not just the tennis court.
However it it one of the hardest things to achieve. Our children are striving as hard as possible to win every match, they will give their all and when in their eyes that hasn’t been enough, they will feel that they have failed and will show that emotion in their own, unique way, ranging from tears to screams. After all they are children and learning so much every day about themselves and about life in general.
I have previously written that children will follow our examples in many different ways. We are the people they spend the most time with and whether we like it or not, they will notice the little things that we do and without them even realising, they will display our traits. Now that is a truly scary thing!
Can you be as cool as Chrissie,
as calm as Bjorn or
as sanguine as Roger?
So if we would like our children to play the game like a Federer, a Borg or a Chrissie Evert. To show that relentless outer calm in the face of whatever is thrown at them, then we must try to show an equal lack of emotion.
So can you show an outer exterior of tranquility no matter what happens over the course of a tournament? No matter how disappointing the loss, however bad the line call or whatever let service that lady luck allows at match point in Fast4 tennis, can you keep that easy smile? Can you show that ice cool calm temperament? Can you meet the parents sportsmanship challenge? Maybe that is something you could try this weekend!
If you take the challenge I wonder what techniques you use to appear chilled. In my blog next week, 6 ideas for staying calm, I’ll suggest some of the strategies that I have used but I would love to know yours too so that I can include them.
I am a tennis parent, educationalist and author. My guide for tennis parents, ‘Trophies, tears and line calls’ has just been published. You can follow me on on twitter @tennisdaduk.